Phoenix - the Insilico tales - chapter 9 - "Clarity"
(originally posted 7/3/2011)
Phee slammed her fists into the bag, again and again, faster now. Loud thuds echoed through the empty and darkened dojo. The chain it hung by shuddered violently. Her internal HUD exploded with flashing yellow caution and warning indicators. Vents opened on her lower back. Cooling fans roared to dump the sudden flood of excess heat from overexertion. Phee growled in frustration, sat on a bench, and held her head in her hands, resting her elbows on her knees as she waited yet again for her cooling system to catch up.
Phee's efforts to pound some sense into the new world she lived in were not working. Life as Dawn had been so much easier. Clearly defined responsibilities. Clearly defined friendships. Clearly defined enemies. Black. White. Now everything seemed to melt together in one ugly, squishy grey mess.
Phee tried and failed to have the same sort of friendship with Joah that Dawn enjoyed. Worse still, she couldn't decide whether or not she even liked the girl. She remembered Dawn's affection for Joah, reflected on the constant simmering bitterness that seemed to hallmark Phee's relationship with Joah, and felt alien to herself.
Tokuma, the people who had taken her mother away and sent her off to Mars, had recently FIRED Caitlin. What had Phee done in response? Had she marched into Sergeant Tsunenaga's office and demanded more respectful treatment of her unjustly incarcerated mother? Had she resigned in protest? No. Phee would have a conversation with the Sergeant, but only to strengthen her ties to Tokuma and ensure her head wasn't next on the chopping block.
And now this.
Phee opened her thigh compartment and removed an older IPS datapad. She pressed a button and turned on the datapad, browsing idly through thousands of credits worth of applied cybernetics coursework.
----earlier that day----
Phee watched Captain Roahm Whitesong ride up to the Buddha's Bowl. She had always been curious about Roahm. Cait had strong feelings toward her from the moment Phee was born. During the weeks when Cait was on Mars, Phee studied Roahm, trying to learn from her actions and the way she carried herself what she could have done to hurt Caitlin so badly. But Roahm's behavior was always honorable, her words measured and responsibly uttered - a stark contrast to her erstwhile Captain Torrence. Phee finally had to ask Cait directly upon her return from Mars before she would find out what Roahm's role in their lives had really been. The truth was shocking and unsettling. Roahm had actually been the one to murder Dawn. She directly, personally, pushed the button.
But far from solidifying Phee's hatred of Roahm, once the initial shock and revulsion had passed, Phee found her curiosity greatly intensified. "No, it couldn't have been her. There's no way - some random technician inside IPS maybe, but not Roahm. It isn't in her to do something like that.", Phee thought. And so, unable to find in herself the clarity of a clearly identified mortal enemy, Phee watched Roahm all the more closely - all the more interested to discover how such a woman could do something so monstrous.
Roahm overheard Phee talking with Sayer about her having completed the requirements to enter medical school.
"Learnin te be a doctor, Phoenix?" came the Captain's voice from the other table.
Phee steeled herself for the insults that came the last time her medical credentials had been a topic of discussion among the IPS, took a breath, and replied matter of factly "Yes, I am."
Roahm looked off toward the south "I see, gonna be a long road fer ye, but I wish ye the best of luck, I recommend ye also study applied cybernetics, will help ye in treatin more patients"
Phee was a bit unsettled. Merging medical and cybernetics skills had been one of her most important professional goals. It was strange to hear those goals vindicated. Her brow furrowed slightly in confusion as she turned and looked across the restaurant at Roahm. "I agree, and have been working with Kiba and Faith on those subjects."
Roahm produced an old, grey datapad, and placed it on the table in front of her. "Here, has me old text books, they may be out of date but might help ye get a head start, as texts fer general practice an Applied cybernetics, all the way up te doctorate level. will do more fer ye they they're doin fer me"
Phee stood, walked toward Roahm's table, and looked down at the datapad, a look of utter bewilderment on her face "You'd do that for me?"
"I just hope ye stick te yer oath better then I did..." Roahm, stood, paying Mei Mei for her meal, and turned toward Phoenix one last time before heading back to her bike "Just remember, do no harm...I wish ye luck lass."
That's how someone like that could murder Dawn. With regret.
Phee felt a surge of sympathy as she saw the torment in Roahm's eyes. It was the same look she'd been seeing in that new face in the mirror. The same longing for clarity.
----------
Phee growled and lunged for the bag, nearly punching it in half with her first strike. Her fists slammed into the bag in rapid succession.
"I'm becoming her..."
SLAM
"I'm corporate..."
SLAM
"medical..."
SLAM
"cybernetics..."
SLAM
"with an overlapping security role..."
SLAM
The alarms went off again, her body strained under the abuse, fans roaring, sending plumes of heat wafting through the dojo. She dropped to her knees in front of the still quivering bag.
Phee slammed her fists into the bag, again and again, faster now. Loud thuds echoed through the empty and darkened dojo. The chain it hung by shuddered violently. Her internal HUD exploded with flashing yellow caution and warning indicators. Vents opened on her lower back. Cooling fans roared to dump the sudden flood of excess heat from overexertion. Phee growled in frustration, sat on a bench, and held her head in her hands, resting her elbows on her knees as she waited yet again for her cooling system to catch up.
Phee's efforts to pound some sense into the new world she lived in were not working. Life as Dawn had been so much easier. Clearly defined responsibilities. Clearly defined friendships. Clearly defined enemies. Black. White. Now everything seemed to melt together in one ugly, squishy grey mess.
Phee tried and failed to have the same sort of friendship with Joah that Dawn enjoyed. Worse still, she couldn't decide whether or not she even liked the girl. She remembered Dawn's affection for Joah, reflected on the constant simmering bitterness that seemed to hallmark Phee's relationship with Joah, and felt alien to herself.
Tokuma, the people who had taken her mother away and sent her off to Mars, had recently FIRED Caitlin. What had Phee done in response? Had she marched into Sergeant Tsunenaga's office and demanded more respectful treatment of her unjustly incarcerated mother? Had she resigned in protest? No. Phee would have a conversation with the Sergeant, but only to strengthen her ties to Tokuma and ensure her head wasn't next on the chopping block.
And now this.
Phee opened her thigh compartment and removed an older IPS datapad. She pressed a button and turned on the datapad, browsing idly through thousands of credits worth of applied cybernetics coursework.
----earlier that day----
Phee watched Captain Roahm Whitesong ride up to the Buddha's Bowl. She had always been curious about Roahm. Cait had strong feelings toward her from the moment Phee was born. During the weeks when Cait was on Mars, Phee studied Roahm, trying to learn from her actions and the way she carried herself what she could have done to hurt Caitlin so badly. But Roahm's behavior was always honorable, her words measured and responsibly uttered - a stark contrast to her erstwhile Captain Torrence. Phee finally had to ask Cait directly upon her return from Mars before she would find out what Roahm's role in their lives had really been. The truth was shocking and unsettling. Roahm had actually been the one to murder Dawn. She directly, personally, pushed the button.
But far from solidifying Phee's hatred of Roahm, once the initial shock and revulsion had passed, Phee found her curiosity greatly intensified. "No, it couldn't have been her. There's no way - some random technician inside IPS maybe, but not Roahm. It isn't in her to do something like that.", Phee thought. And so, unable to find in herself the clarity of a clearly identified mortal enemy, Phee watched Roahm all the more closely - all the more interested to discover how such a woman could do something so monstrous.
Roahm overheard Phee talking with Sayer about her having completed the requirements to enter medical school.
"Learnin te be a doctor, Phoenix?" came the Captain's voice from the other table.
Phee steeled herself for the insults that came the last time her medical credentials had been a topic of discussion among the IPS, took a breath, and replied matter of factly "Yes, I am."
Roahm looked off toward the south "I see, gonna be a long road fer ye, but I wish ye the best of luck, I recommend ye also study applied cybernetics, will help ye in treatin more patients"
Phee was a bit unsettled. Merging medical and cybernetics skills had been one of her most important professional goals. It was strange to hear those goals vindicated. Her brow furrowed slightly in confusion as she turned and looked across the restaurant at Roahm. "I agree, and have been working with Kiba and Faith on those subjects."
Roahm produced an old, grey datapad, and placed it on the table in front of her. "Here, has me old text books, they may be out of date but might help ye get a head start, as texts fer general practice an Applied cybernetics, all the way up te doctorate level. will do more fer ye they they're doin fer me"
Phee stood, walked toward Roahm's table, and looked down at the datapad, a look of utter bewilderment on her face "You'd do that for me?"
"I just hope ye stick te yer oath better then I did..." Roahm, stood, paying Mei Mei for her meal, and turned toward Phoenix one last time before heading back to her bike "Just remember, do no harm...I wish ye luck lass."
That's how someone like that could murder Dawn. With regret.
Phee felt a surge of sympathy as she saw the torment in Roahm's eyes. It was the same look she'd been seeing in that new face in the mirror. The same longing for clarity.
----------
Phee growled and lunged for the bag, nearly punching it in half with her first strike. Her fists slammed into the bag in rapid succession.
"I'm becoming her..."
SLAM
"I'm corporate..."
SLAM
"medical..."
SLAM
"cybernetics..."
SLAM
"with an overlapping security role..."
SLAM
The alarms went off again, her body strained under the abuse, fans roaring, sending plumes of heat wafting through the dojo. She dropped to her knees in front of the still quivering bag.
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