Goodbye, Sayer
Dear Sayer,
I am so very sorry to be having this conversation with you via letter, but it has been so long since anyone has seen you, and I have no other way to tell you these things.
You and I fell in love just after I was reborn in a human brain as the cyborg Phoenix. That mind was a very dark place, and the Dawn AI did not feel very much at home there. She felt like she'd lost something of her innocence. As time has passed, especially since my return to an AI core, I've come to realize I projected onto you a hope to regain that innocence. The darker my life became, the more I clung to you. That mind's last conscious thoughts were of you, sick and possibly dying in the courtyard below the lab where I was, once again, dead and reborn.
I don't know now if the return to an AI core resolved the conflict - if I saw you as somehow a means of returning to my existence as Dawn - or if, having gone through what I did during the war, then the fight to flee Tokuma, then the Shades massacre, I simply now embrace that darkness. Either way, I've come to realize I started a relationship with you on false pretenses. I wanted you because of what I wanted to become. Instead of coming to you simply to join our lives, I misrepresented the truth of what I was. I either just wanted to be in an AI core again, or I was not the innocent I presented myself to be. Either way, Sayer, I'm terribly sorry. I'm afraid the woman you loved died that day in the Tokuma R&D lab.
I met someone else, Sayer. Ezekiel. I seem to be able to be honest with him, and our relationship has blossomed into something wonderful. We are to be married. I fear describing how happy I am may rub salt into your wounds, so I'll refrain from doing so here, but suffice it to say that I am very happy. Sayer, I hope very much that we can continue to be friends. I'm afraid the circumstances demand we recognize that our romantic relationship is over, however. I'm so sorry.
I'll be there when you get this. If you want to talk.
Phoenix.
I am so very sorry to be having this conversation with you via letter, but it has been so long since anyone has seen you, and I have no other way to tell you these things.
You and I fell in love just after I was reborn in a human brain as the cyborg Phoenix. That mind was a very dark place, and the Dawn AI did not feel very much at home there. She felt like she'd lost something of her innocence. As time has passed, especially since my return to an AI core, I've come to realize I projected onto you a hope to regain that innocence. The darker my life became, the more I clung to you. That mind's last conscious thoughts were of you, sick and possibly dying in the courtyard below the lab where I was, once again, dead and reborn.
I don't know now if the return to an AI core resolved the conflict - if I saw you as somehow a means of returning to my existence as Dawn - or if, having gone through what I did during the war, then the fight to flee Tokuma, then the Shades massacre, I simply now embrace that darkness. Either way, I've come to realize I started a relationship with you on false pretenses. I wanted you because of what I wanted to become. Instead of coming to you simply to join our lives, I misrepresented the truth of what I was. I either just wanted to be in an AI core again, or I was not the innocent I presented myself to be. Either way, Sayer, I'm terribly sorry. I'm afraid the woman you loved died that day in the Tokuma R&D lab.
I met someone else, Sayer. Ezekiel. I seem to be able to be honest with him, and our relationship has blossomed into something wonderful. We are to be married. I fear describing how happy I am may rub salt into your wounds, so I'll refrain from doing so here, but suffice it to say that I am very happy. Sayer, I hope very much that we can continue to be friends. I'm afraid the circumstances demand we recognize that our romantic relationship is over, however. I'm so sorry.
I'll be there when you get this. If you want to talk.
Phoenix.
Comments
Post a Comment